Something to put a laugh on your face today

Discussion in 'FUN and Sharing Forum for Non-Creator stuff' started by Worlock, Aug 3, 2006.

  1. Worlock

    Worlock Guest

    Food for thought

    A travelling salesman is walking down a country road when he comes across a farmer standing next to a pig with a wooden leg. The salesman approaches the farmer.

    "Howdy," says the salesman.

    "Howdy," says the farmer.

    "That's quite a pig you got there. How did he get a wooden leg", the salesman asked?

    "Well, I'll tell you...it was the most amazin' thing I ever seen!", starts the farmer. "One night our barn caught on fire and that there pig started squealin' up such a fuss that it woke everyone in the house up! And by the time we got to the barn, he had herded all the animals to safety!"

    "Wow!" says the salesman. "That is remarkable! So that's how he got the wooden leg?"

    "Oh no," says the farmer. "Came out of that just fine, just fine, not even a scratch!"

    "Oh," says the salesman. "So how DID he get a wooden leg?"

    "Well, I'll tell ya...it was the most amazin' thing I ever seen!" starts the farmer. "One day I was ridin' my tractor and plowin' my fields, when the tractor tipped over and I fell into a ditch! Well, sir, that there pig run in there and drug me out before I drowned!"

    "Incredible!" states the salesman. "So THAT'S how he got the wooden leg."

    "Oh no," says the farmer. "He came out of that just fine, just fine, not even a scratch!"

    By this time the salesman is getting a little exasperated with the farmer.

    "So...how DID the pig get the wooden leg?!" the salesman demanded.

    "Well, I'll tell ya....it was the most amazin' thing I ever seen!" starts the farmer. "One day I was out walkin' through the woods and mindin' my own business when a great big grizzly bear come trudgin' by to attack me! And that there pig squealed so loudly that it frightened the bear and he ran away!"

    "Astonishing!" gasped the salesman. "So this is how he got the wooden leg."

    "Oh no," says the farmer. "He came out of that just fine, just fine, not even a scratch!"

    By this time the salesman is getting quite irate.

    "Look, sir, from what you have told me this pig is something short of miraculous! He's been through fire, water, and a bear attack without so much as a SCRATCH?! How on EARTH did the pig get a wooden leg?!"

    Well, the farmer kind of grinned and leaned toward the salesman with a nudge and said, "Well, a pig like that you don't want to eat all at once!"
     
  2. Worlock

    Worlock Guest

    Another Belly Buster

    Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.

    Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

    In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

    Upon leaving for another ranch to check on the possibility of buying a bull, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

    The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599.

    After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

    She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

    The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

    Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word 'Comfortable'."

    The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

    The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow." ("com-for-da-bull")
     

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