Noah's Ark 2005

Discussion in 'FUN and Sharing Forum for Non-Creator stuff' started by KD-did, Apr 9, 2005.

  1. KD-did


    Trophy Points:
    In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
    States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
    over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me.

    Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good

    He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark
    before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but
    no ark.

    "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
    building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a
    sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
    zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
    limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

    Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
    future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear
    the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be
    coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

    Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
    in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists
    that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!

    When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group.
    They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well,
    they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
    inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

    Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
    environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

    I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
    how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the
    trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union
    workers with Ark building experience.

    To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying
    to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

    So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish
    this Ark."

    Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
    across the sky.

    Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy
    the world?".

    "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
  2. Flotsom


    Trophy Points:
    Uh huh ... all too true!!;)
  3. lordzenn


    Trophy Points:
    How true! how true!

Share This Page